"Men's and Women's reactions to fair and unfair treatment in relationship conflict"

"Men's and Women's reactions to fair and unfair treatment in relationship conflict"

Article summary:

Kluwer, Tumewu, and Van Den Bos (2009) conducted a study on men and women and the level of 'fair and unfair' treatment during relationship conflict, discussing the level of affective feelings and relationship satisfaction.

It was discovered that people need and desire 'fairness' when dealing with situations that are highly important to them. As 'fair' treatment gives the individual a sense of security.

People are more likely to remain involved in a relationship when their partner is actively involved and interested in a fair conflict resolution.

The study confirmed that men are less likely to be affected by fairness of treatment as compared to women; unless they are fully committed to the woman and the relationship.

Women however, are affected both positively as well as negatively whether the conflict is resolved fairly or unfairly, and weather in a committed or non-committed relationship; as the identity of women are tied into who they view themselves to be. Strongly because for women only their relationships foster an attached sense of self.

In the end giving a person the ability to express their positions and opinions gives the individual a sense of having a voice and a sense that their ideals are respected and accepted as valid.

Integration:
The theory of gender differences in relationships and the level of fair or unfair treatment being evidenced as discussed by Kluwer, Tumewu, and Van Den Bos (2009) is related to distributive justice as they theorize that people will react more positively to fairness than unfair treatment.

However I think that several conflict theories apply as equity and equality do not always apply or work in relational situations and people will often react more to unjust experiences rather than just situations.

Some theories such as the classic 'Tit for Tat' , in cases where the men are not fully committed to the resolution of conflict; their input is based only on moves and counter moves and considered a 'game' of who can win the battle of the wills, more than a resolution to bond further relational connectedness.
I believe the GRIT strategy can also be applied to such issues of this kind. As it is important to relay / voice full intentions, offer solution, make actions match words, establish needed trust, and take every measure for de-escalation possible for positive outcomes.
The four properties of interaction could also be applicable, as intimate relationships imitate the stages of 'moves and countermoves', patterns of behavior that create avoidance or escalation, prior history of relationships will also factor into how communication exists or not, and the context or environment of the situation will have an impact on perceptions of a situation.
Another good theory would be one of Reciprocity and Compensation as sometimes in relationships it can be more beneficial to give more than you take or expect in order to actually 'Win' the battle so to speak and just obtain peace.
Rummel's five stage model would be of good use to situations that have the potential for cyclic eruption; by attending to positions or attitudes held determines the initiation for or against ongoing conflict , by utilizing open conflict everyone can openly discuss their concerns and come to a understandable balance of power if nothing else, even if not 100% solvable at the time hopefully enough can be done to avoid the disruption stage for a reasonable period of time.
And finally some use Promises, which say I'll act beneficially toward you as long as you fulfill predetermined requests and expectations. On the other hand Threats can also be a part of conflict within relationships; by making known, one party to the other that one would behave detrimentally if needs/requests are not met.

Application:

The principle of distributive justice as discussed by Kluwer, Tumewu, and Van Den Bos (2009), could be applied to the relationship of fairness during times of relational conflict when the variables of positive or negative outcomes are detrimental to the couple's committed determination to the progression of the relationship for a beneficial resolution.
Although women perceive fair treatment by their partners as the partner giving her a voice and an ear as well as actions to solidify the interaction, if the tables turned and the woman would not commit to the man in times that he wanted a voice in a matter of discussion he would then be rendered to feel similar repercussions that a female is made to feel when she is being invalidated.
I estimate that a lot of the reason some people find themselves in 'unfair' situations could be due to the lack of value that they have ascribed to themselves. Giving self a lower value than what you want or expect from will create maltreatment and devaluing from others.
The saying that "All's Fair in Love and War" can be justly applicable when stated in this context of people desiring fair treatment whether male or female.
All are sensitive to having their needs met, and knowing that women are more sensitive than men would do many women in relationships a justice to apply the same 'distributive' tactics dealt; as in war as well as in relationships "fair play" does not always apply!

                                                             References

KLUWER, E. S., TUMEWU, M., , & VAN DEN BOS, K. (2009). Men's and women's reactions to fair   and unfair treatment in relationship conflict. Personal Relationships, 16(4), 455-474.